Friday, December 29, 2006

Retrospectiva 2006

É tarefa quase impossível juntar todas as porcarias que nossas "estrelas" fazem. Mas aí vai uma listinha básica que vale a pena recordar.

Em 2006 nós tivemos o (des)prazer de rever Mandacaru, é aquela novela que passou na Band com aquele cangaceiro meio gay. Enquanto no sbt, a atração era Xica da Silva (a negraaaaa) com destaque para Adriane Galisteu na trama interpretando "a personagem que mais apareceu nua na novela". Talento é para poucos....

Nossos fofinhos e, diga-se de passagem, espertíssimos ídolos mostraram que tem muita cuca e deram opiniões dignas de respeito peito peito...

"Acho que não quero mostrar a minha periquita."Carolina Dieckmann, atriz de 27 anos, reafirmando que não pretende posar nua

"Sou um cara que vai sujinho para a academia."Reynaldo Gianecchini, ator considerado um símbolo sexual, garantindo que não é glamouroso o tempo todo.

"A mulher tem de dar no primeiro encontro."Caco Ciocler, o Renato de "Páginas da Vida", em visão pouco romântica sobre relacionamentos.

"Sempre fui gostosa, só que antes não mostrava o corpo".Flávia Alessandra, atriz de 32 anos, ao ser capa da edição de agosto da "Playboy".

"Sexo, com a idade, só fica pior. Mas tem uns remedinhos."Francisco Cuoco, ator de 72 anos tecendo sua teoria sobre a vida sexual na terceira idade.

"Eu sou toda rosinha."Maytê Proença, atriz, revelando detalhes íntimos de sua ida ao ginecologista.

"Sou tão distraída que, se tocar a campainha, eu paro de trepar."Suzana Vieira, atriz de 65 anos, dizendo que qualquer barulho tira sua atenção, esteja ela fazendo o que estiver.

Não podemos esquecer da praga Big Brother que assola a televisão todo ano. Esse ano quem ganhou foi algum pobre, gay e negro. Tudo porque provavelmente ele se assumiu pobre, gay e negro (os outros participantes não tinham percebido ainda). Não sei quem ganhou, eu tenho a decência de desligar a tv quando começa a passar essas porcarias. Calma pessoal em 2007 tem mais.

Este ano tivemos também, toda santa semana, o programa do Raul Gil, do Faustão e do Gugu. As meninsa super poderosas do final de semana. Quando eles se juntam não sobra pedra sobre pedra.

O triângulo amoroso Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie e Britney Spears acabou mal. A princesa virgem do pop se separou do marido para se intrometer no meio do caso das outras duas. Resultado: fotos sem calcinha e brigas e brigas.

2006 foi um ano agitado para Britney, ela se separou, fez extravagâncias, foi eleita a celebridade mais mal vestida (vestida? onde?), bebeu demais, se mostrou DEMAIS, e agora quer adotar uma criança carente ouuuuuunnnn, alguém acha que ela não pode? Poxa tem mães por aí que já são mães e fazem o mesmo que ela.

Estreiou no sbesteira este ano o programa Super Nanny! Sinopse: Uma mulher vestida de acessora da Mary Poppins ajuda pais que tem verdadeiros capetas como filhos. Este programa prova que Roman Polanski não estava brincando quando filmou O Bebê de Rosemary.

Um ano de revelações no canal do titio Silvio (Santos). Rebeldes é o novo programa que ensina a pimpolhada o quanto é legal ir para a escola e dançar de bota, minissaia e maquiagem (para as meninas e alguns meninos). Ééééé, mais um programa para adolescentes sobre a vida real. Na Gobo, Malhação ainda respira com o mesmo roteiro de quando estreiou há 100 anos atrás e na Record tem Alta Estação!!! É tão bom ser um jovem alienado.

Alexandre Frota lançou o seu primeiro filme pornô em que contracena com a travesti Bianca Soares.

O Brasil perdeu a Copa do Mundo (hehehehehe)

O Programa do Ratinho saiu do ar (oba!) mas o apresentador tem projetos para 2007.

Robbie Williams disse que jamais vai casar porque (é gay hahaha) é completamente louco pelo ícone (gay hahahaha) Madonna e nenhuma mulher conseguiria ser a Madonna 24 hrs por dia. Uma pena que a Madona seja meio.... (gay hahahahaha)

A múmia do rock, Mick Jagger, esteve no Brasil fez um show legalzinho.

Tom Cruise trocou Nicole Kidman pela Katie Holmes e Nicole Kidman trocou Tom Cruise por um cara que está internado em um clinica de reabilitação para viciados em alguma coisa, Nicole se fu...

Brad Pitt trocou Jennifer Anniston por Angelina Jolie e seguiu com a bocuda para a África onde eles podem adotar várias criancinhas carentes.

Max, o porco de estimação de George Clooney morreu na mansão do ator em Los Angeles. Max já tinha 18 aos e foi uma perda dolorosa.

Supla reuniu sua banda para a gravação do clip Arrasa Bi. Supla arrazou de cueca de oncinha.

hmmm... está faltando algo?
><
OH SIM!

Muitas gente perdeu peso. Muita modelo morreu de anorexia. Muita gente engordou. Muita gente fez merda. Muita gente traiu. Muita gente comprou. Coisa de gente famosa.

Enfim
Feliz ano novo pra todos.

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